I Killed The DJ

beelzebub-36:

arthur-christmas-claus:

And they weren’t even the same species.

“But it’s not natural!”

“There’s no way any child raised by two men could be happy, or even content.”

“But now their child will be gay.”

“He will never have a normal, real relationship.”

“He’ll be socially inept and never amount to anything.”

Respected king.

Loved father.

I rest my case.

And just for the hell of it…

You can be a homo too!

Fave post.

(via fuckedbones)

(via teenagerposts)

akittensblog:

hannawolfcross:

theghostparty:

pondermoofin:

vaniirox:

#i feel so bad when any guy or girl tries to date his daughter #because you show up at their door and her dad is Thor

Look how badass he is while holding that baby

 #I can imagine him using his Thor voice on her #like when she’s crying in the middle of the night #WHAT IS WRONG DAUGHTER OF MINE#DO YOU REQUIRE NOURISHMENT#WHY DOTH YOU TORMENT ME SO PRECIOUS ONE 

But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?

TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?

I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.

WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER

IF HE BE WORTHY

SHALL POSSESS

THE BLESSING OF THOR

and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”

I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.

#ohohohohohohohrhioehehehheheh i followed you in my car to make sure you paid for her dinner hehehehehehehehe #i’ll literally come into your house and kill you if you break her heart #hehehehehehee

What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.

it’s updated

Rebloggin for the comments.

Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.

I love you

ALL of you

this just keeps getting better!!!

Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.

And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”

“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”

“Oh my god, dad…”

“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”

“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”

And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”

“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”

“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”

“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”

“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”

“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”

“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”

“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”

“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”

“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”

“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”

“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”

“Dad…”

“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”

“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”

#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his ovary-bursting smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen

#he never calls her back

I’m sorry

but this just keeps getting better and better

EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS

OMFG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying

It gets better every time!

I am CRYING oh my god

[[And there will be that one guy.

He won’t run or never call again.

He’ll sit there and play along.

“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”

It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]

I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong. 

(Source: sapfira23, via fuckedbones)

(Source: abigail-sciuto, via madnessnstuff)

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

secretly-john-watson:

the-fandoms-are-cool:

thestupidsunflowerseed:

captain-kirks-perfect-hair:

I want to know that I’m not alone in this…

Every single day

every second of my waking life and every moment of my dreaming one

24/7

(via fuckedbones)

foolcariad:

bakerstreetbabes:

americaninthedeerstalker:

awkwardities:

Sarcasm at its best. 

Same Watson.

Watsons are the best.

This!

(via fuckedbones)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

mosoli:

im still laughing at this

(Source: whendogmetdolphin, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)